In September 2020, I became very sickly that tends to my boss to fire me at my work. I was clueless at that time though I was lucky to establish my art business in August and my plan was just to add my business to my normal job because I wanted to save to my future projects and save for extra money to travel with my kids and do my photography hobby. But unfortunately even I can still fight with it , I also decided to stay home and become more healthy but I was diagnosed to have diabetis and I was really worried at first because my mother died with some complications of kidney failure and including diabetis. I became aloof to people, I dont want to talk to anyone. I felt so bad and disappointed. I was always not feeling ok, I get irritated easily. I get anxiety attacks and depressive.
I came to the point that I didnt want to live anymore and I was thinking that I have no worth at all because me and my husband get personal problems and I wanted to give up on him. I even had no good relationship with my sister because of our differences. Social media became the center of my world while suffering from world pandemic. I looked for more outlets to release my pain inside , then I've met people doing KUMU , a filipino app. I became addicted to it for awhile while creating arts , then I entered the world of Vlogging in Youtube. It was fun for me at first because I discover some things that I never knew when I was a normal viewer but this knowledge made me addicted as well and then I had so much sleepless nights combining DIY video editing , video shooting, being a mom , being a jobless housewife, being a business woman and a painter. When I reached my goal in YT world , I decided to slow down until I loose interest creating contents, I was just helping friends until my friend Ryan told me about a guy whose helping artists like me. I attended the art forums until I was introduced to Non-Fungible Token that's hitting the internet world where they call it a blockchain and they are using crypto currency. I was also introduced to CLUBHOUSE App that was similar to KUMU and again , i became addicted but this time it was better than the other one because this is an audio app that you can be a speaker and you can do things at the same time. I became busy with my life again creating arts and videos for ofcourse the 70th birthday of my father. When I had another mis understanding with my sister, I suffered a lot because this was a non-sense fight between her and me that led me to a serious and pain from my neck and I thought that it was the end of my life. Because nothing can relieve the pain of my neck up to my shoulder til my chest. Afte almost three weeks , my husband brought me to the doctor and I finally agreed to visit our family doctor and i volunarily did that because I felt so bad for my body, mind and emotion. Because of the people who cares for me. I also cared for them and I ignored the ones who don't. I started to live day by day with positivity. I became motivated because this experience thought me a lesson that if i don't ignore my emotional side, i will really end up in grave. I started to reverse my emotional thoughts into more positive way. And I admit that Clubhouse helped me also to cope up with the new trends in the art scenes and even in the film production world. I became more happy being alone and I understand myself more as a person. I have listened to my inner self not to the other people that conflicts to it. I took it easy. I attended in many art talks in Clubhouse then , people are learning about me , they are following me on my instagram then I am learning and get interested more into a digital arts because in this app you will meet a lot of professional artists and filmakers that will give you motivations in life.
I bought three new books that im reading and learning, they are about illustrating children's books , PROCREATE tutorial book and how to start to publish children's book. I even gave more time for my daughter because I am using her Ipad to make the Apple pencil works. I am happy to cook everyday because I know my family will be happy with my foods. I am also spending time with the girlfriend of my brother and my cousin whose with me in the weekend and ofcourse, I am happy because we can also visit few places already here in the Netherlands and I can take a walk and spend more time with my family and I am calling my father and some siblings almost everyday. I could say that every experience in life teaches us big lessons and ofcourse when you fall , you must try to stand and find the root of your fall. To the people whose reading this , I hope that you can find an inspiration to this and please dont hesitate to connect with me , find my instagram account and if you are in clubhouse , just look for chelonypainter and i hope to see and talk to you there. Let's stay healthy and creative.
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